if only i could…

hahay…

i just read my sister’s blog…and it pierced my heart sooo much!!

i’m just too damn emotional…i just can’t help but cry…i always seem to feel the pain the people i love feel…maybe not as strong..but still definitely heart shattering…

we celebrated her bday today, 2 days after the hurtful one…we had fun, some games, some laughters…and i know she felt a tad ok..but i can still see the pain etched on her delicate face…and it breaks my heart..huh! i can’t seem to stop my tears from falling…

if only i could do anything to make it better…

i know you’re questioning God right now…but He would never give you anything you can’t handle…everything happens for a reason…He has a better plan for you…

Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.

Things
don’t go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give
up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all
that you were intended to be.

Hard things are put in our way, not to stop us, but to call out our courage and strength.

i know it’s hard now…but you know u can always come to me…

our angel in heaven

yesterday was supposed to be a fun-filled day…but it turned out really sad and heartbreaking…:(

we were supposed to have a sumptuous lechon, some booze and a whole lot of laughter, but instead spent it at the hospital…with stabbed hearts…

it was supposed to be a happy birthday, but it turned out to be a tearful one…i hate to see the people i love cry and get hurt…i get hurt too…if only i could do anything to ease the pain…

buh-bye baby!!!we love you…you are already in our hearts even though we were yet to see you, or rather, we would never see you smile…

sick npud?

i’m no longer feeling down…like i’ve said before..one good thing about me, one that i’m so proud of is the fact that i always manage to get out of an unfortunate situation in a jiffy…before it gets any worse…i know people who bathe in their misery…but nah, i can’t have that…i have my miserable moments but i just hate sulking for a long time…so i always make sure to perk myself up…
so now, i’m laughing again, i’m happy…the rotten things are still there, but nah, life is too great to remain in that rut…ana, ang wrinkles…mg premature aging ta ana.heheh..saonz nlng ang fez, ma disbeauty! hehehe..saon nlng ang numerous admirers.hahah! as if au bah! heheh..

but i’m still very busy…i sleep really late to read and study..and wake up really early to finish…huh! my partz has been telling me i need to rest…yeah i do need that…sooo badly! and now, the stress is taking its toll on me…i’m sick…and the weather is just not cooperating with me pjud..huhuhu..havin a hard time breathing again…my back’s really sore, and i’m about to get my new round of coughs and colds..huhuhu..na lisod bya au basta ana ky my asthma worsens everytime i’m about to be bitten by the cough & cold bug! huhuhu!! so now i’m dead beat…faetz!! good thing wati helps me write down my notes..partz, tnx..i’ve been thanking you countless of times, but they still are not enough to show you how blessed and thankful i am to have you…you’re always one of my shot of adrenaline coz you keep me going…char..hehe..ily!!sm!!!

gotta rest…still got to read later for my 3 hour class tom! huhuhu..hope i’d be feeling a tad better…

ps.

we just had our xmas party yesterday and it was a blast!!! dah, agavz au ngo, ni sayaw jud sa atubangan, namugos pa sa ubn.hehehe..but unfortunately was beaten in the beer drinking contest..hahah!! ngkiat…but i won…in the speech to evaluate category and would be representing my club in the area contest…hala samot, ma busy ky cge n practice…but nah, toastmastering is something i love to do…so this would be a walk in the park for me..char..yatapz ang lawas.heheh..

tata

help

i’ve been so bombarded with a lot of problems from my family…it seems that everybody in this house needs me right now..everybody seems to run to my shoulders airing out things that frustrate them, things that bother them, things that hurt them, things that scare them…

like that’s something new..hehehe..i’ve been the shock absorber, i’ve been the listening board, i’ve been the comforter, the spokesperson as far as i remember…and i’m not complaining though, that’s who i am…i am just a person who loves to give myself to others, i’m motherly…that’s just me…i’m altruistic…

but sometimes the weight seems to heavy, that sometimes it overpowers me…but then i am the strong one…i am the rope they hold on to…i could not show them i falter, or they’ll falter too…such a big task i’ve place upon my shoulders…
but i always am able cope up…yet right now, after listening to each person’s dilemma here…i’m now wondering…"what about me?" i’m tired (not tired of hearing them hah) but i just need some pat on the shoulder, i need some company, i need a friend…aside from that, i now hate waking up and going to school…huh! really…my spunk seem to not work this time…i’m not functioning well..and the people i get my strength from seem to be out of reach…

well,got to see wati yesterday…went to a seminar…but just was able to talk for 10mins the ride to banilad…well, at least…hope he’d have time to want to be with me longer sometime…

hahay, i used to write a lot of fun blogs…i just haven’t made one recently…coz just haven’t been feelin good recently…:(

i guess this is a cry for help…for anyone out there willing to give me some company…i’m tired of just reading, going to school, then heading home, with no one to talk to..i don’t need advice, i don’t need some serious talks, just need to laugh again, and be happy…i miss my friends..busy na au ang show..huhuhu…

rocky, tnx for accompanying me yesterday…and for treating me to a McChicken meal..you really made my day jud! tnx au!! my treat next time..:)