it’s in the air…

I can hear wedding bells in the air…:)

but then, they’re not ringing for me…

Well…Not just yet…:)

This year, i’ve been invited to so many weddings, some us long as late last year, and some as quick as just a month from the wedding (karya?heheh). I have attended a sweet & intimate beach wedding early this year and hosted one just this summer. I was asked to host again supposedly for one that would have happened yesterday, another for July, which I regretfully declined due to school reasons, and another this August, which I have promised to do ever since they started the wedding planning, and which I already have plane tix, but which unfortunately, I’m not sure of going because of the midterm exams 😦 I would also be a briesmaid for the september wedding of a TM close friend, and would rock hot pink high heels for childhood friend in October. I am trying to make it to college bud karya’s day by the end of this month, and excited to see HS friends in November for Taj’ trip down the aisle. whew! that’s 9 wedding invites just for this year! And as early as last March, I had been booked to host BFF sandz’ chocolate & pink themed wedding! In demand! hehehe.

You know everytime i get to attend a wedding, even when i was still younger, I always dream of what mine would be. In fact, I even wrote a blog 2 years ago when I attended the joint  event of my cousin’s wedding and our lola’s 50th wedding anniv! Indeed wedding bells are ringing in the air, and I have always been asked when mine would be, by friends and family alike….mmmm maybe for the thousandth time! hahaha. My grandparents are even always making “padungog” that they still want to be part of the wedding. hahah. And there has even been rumors that I’d be getting hitched by December, started of course by my sometimes annoying sisters, and went rushing through the grapevine thanks to my TM friends..grrrr! So don’t believe everything you hear! 🙂

Being together for almost 8 years, it’s no wonder why people have been throwing the big “when” question…Truth be told, I’ve been thinking of it, I’m sure just like most girlfriends, but even if the time when it would happen is still bleak, due to financial and school reasons, I’m sure it would happen someday. So relax lang guys, you’d know when lagi, when the time comes! hehehe.

So since the wedding fever is in a frenzy right now with friends getting hitch in a span of weeks, and people posting pix of their dream weddings, let me join the bandwagon and give you a hint of what I’d want when my time comes. 🙂

my dream red & white wedding with everybody wearing white!:)

i can hear wedding bells in the air…

but though they are not yet ringing for me…

I know they will someday! 🙂

first love never dies?

Everybody has a first love…everyone has that first person who has made your heart skip for real…the first to make you see fireworks… the one who you first held hands with…the first to make you feel so weak in the knees… the one who you had your first real kiss with…yes, the one you had your first rush of passion and electricity running through your spine…

is there truth to the adage that “first love never dies”?

I remember my first rush of intense, heart throbbing love. I had always been known as the girl who never gives in to love. The girl who refuses to join the relationship band wagon…The girl who runs away..figuratively and literally (hehe), the girl who has hurt many (hahaha), the girl who has made some cry (feeler.haha). I was determined to always be that girl, for i’ve always had this ill notion of men…and a sadder ill feeling about love…

I never really thought I’d feel the sharp hit of Cupid’s arrow, not until I met this guy who knocked me off my feet…knocked me off real hard. It was not love at first sight, no, for it grew out of friendship, and hours of text messaging, and days of hanging out together with friends. We clicked, we jived, and we spent hundreds of pesos a week  just to send messages to each other the whole day until the wee hours of the morning, sleep for a few hours, and text each other again. Imagine, back then the only load available is 300 and we get to use that in just one day!!! It was exciting, it was exhilirating, it was EXPENSIVE, but I was giddy, I was in love..We kept the feelings under wraps, for even at the start it for it was a sort of a forbidden romance..for we would hurt a guy who was super close to both of us. But eventually everybody knew it, everybody noticed it, everyone could see what we meant to each other. But then I began to wonder why we were never official even after a year or two of doing the things we did. And I always rationalized that it was because of  the “other guy” so I went on with it for he tells me that he cares for me, that he misses me, that I’m important to him and because my family already knew him and my sisters like him, and my friends have seen him. But I’ve always wondered…until I saw him…with another girl, bringing her stuff…And we locked eyes, both shocked, and I rushed towards the school, fearing that tears would fall,  glanced back and saw him still staring at me even while walking with the girl…i never really expected i’d ever get hurt…i was supposed to be the one doing that, not the other way around..but it crushed my heart big time, and I felt stupid for allowing love to creep in my stonecold heart and vowed never to talk to him again. But I was naive and stupidly in love, and when he called that night, we talked for hours, and he said she was just a friend from his hometown who he is helping out in the city, and I accepted that explanation. And it was as if nothing was wrong, we went on our usual ways. But I’ve always been an investigator (hehehe) and so I incessantly asked his friends, but they always said that she was just a friend and that he really liked me (guy friends would always defend their friends..even if they’re doing wrong. huh!) until one finally told me the whole truth. I was the other girl! So we talked, me and my first love, and I probably said all the cuss words I knew to him, hit him, and told him to get out of my life, but ended up having my first real kiss with him! (hahahaha). We talked, we held hands, and he said I really mean so much to him but he was just in a tight situation to break up with the girl. I never asked him to stay, I told him to go away, I would never want to be the cause for another girl’s heartache. And we parted ways. There were a few messages once in a while but I stood firm. And when we went out with friends, I always remembered him singing “Bakit Nagayon Ka Lang” rach! hahaha! It was difficult not to do the usual things we did, i sure did miss knowing about his day and him asking about mine. Girls, believe me when I say that when a boy sweeps you off your feet, he’s in the perfect position to drop you on your ass! I fell so hard on my ass, I found it was hard to let go. And funny to let go of somebody you really never had.  Funny that my first love was never really mine from the start.

and it took me quite some time to move on…I was doing ok…until he came back, telling me it was over between “them”, and imagine finally hearing that after hoping to hear that for so long…But I guess we were just not meant to be, because he came, the new guy…and though I was happy to finally hear that after waiting for so long, I couldn’t stop thinking of the other..when we met again after such a long time, I realized right then and there that my heart no longer beats for him, it was already beating for someone else…

Yes, we all have our first loves…lucky for those who have their first loves as their last…unlucky for those who even after all the years, they still go back to that distant past when the kisses and hugs were nothing short but magical…but what luck there is too for those who lost their first love, because they were bound to meet someone better…

I DID! 🙂

I guess first love dies..because if it does not, I would not have been this happy for almost eight years…char! hahaha.

my partz’ First blog

Twenty-four years and eleven months ago, the world became a better place when a vigorous little boy started to breathe air for the first time outside his mother’s womb (Felicidad Abellana). At that very moment that boy experienced the most embarrassing moment of his life (having people see him butt-naked with his then little weenie hanging out for the world to see). He grew with proper discipline, advanced training and high-class education. And through his eyes, he sees the world filled with numbers. And that’s why he graduated one-year advance from the spawning pool of class S gene babies. He is a middle child, and the pressure of him being stuck in the middle, because being in the middle meant, he is the king! And he could hear voices inside his head, persuading him to give up his throne, to drive out the pressure. And every so often problems are too much to bare that he sometimes hallucinates, but he was steadfast, handsome, five foot three inches at fourteen years of age, lanky, athletic, analytical, geometric, and all the positive words ending with “ic” inside the dictionary so he was able to shove the voice up into someone else’s head and managed to control his hallucination and use them to his advantage. But alas he thought he could conquer everything with his beautiful mind and then he succumbs to the one thing that hinders almost every man from his dreams. Beer. And of course that comes with whichever you like, cigarettes or pulutan or both. But on the lighter side of things comes a cigarette. Joke sad dah. On the lighter side of things he is a very good citizen. Never has he violated a single law. Respectful to nature and handsome again. Punctual and never comes in late because he’d rather be absent when late. Now that he has grown old (but has not grown up)and even more handsome then comes the booster of his life, the woman behind door number fifty, san agustin heights cebu city…drum roll please… babie espina.. She’s the booster since he not only had become friends with her children but was also able to trick her eldest daughter to be his girlfriend (you have my sympathy girl). But now that girlfriend of his is not that sympathetic anymore because she cast revenge on him by letting him drink more beer and hence blocks him from proceeding to his next stage in life. But what she doesn’t know is that he enjoys staying at this stage in life. Full of vigor, adventurous and of course still handsome. So now its her who also gave in to life of alchohol which she also enjoys. A lot. Now they are having the time of their lives spending it with bountiful friends. And now that vigorous little boy started to write a blog for the world to know how pathetic he has become that he has not so much to do that’s why he’s down to writing blog.

Author : Wat I. wats

November 23rd, 2006 at 3:50 am

michaelangeli

Let me start off this blog by saying that in 11 days, Wati & I would be celebrating our 91st month together! wootwoot! some kind of achievement huh? even before i joined the relationship bandwagon, people have been doubting if I’d ever get to stay in a relationship even for a month! And when i actually got into one (FYI: I am a late bloomer! I had my first boyfriend at 20 years old coz i really found it hard to actually commit), people close to me became really worried! Seriously, i was doubting myself as well! Knowing how fickle and scared i am, i was in for some big trouble…

But things change, and people change…and i changed! The fact that i did allow myself to fall, and allowed myself the chance to get hurt, which is something i’m so damned scared about, is a proof that i have actually changed…And finding myself adding months and months, and now years and years to the relationship, is nothing short of a marvel! heheh!char!

i have always been cautious to put my heart on my sleeve eversince my adolescent years, and i’ve always found myself hurting those who tried to get close…yes, i did, and i’ve hurt those people pretty badly, just to protect myself from being hurt…but i realized that i’d be missing out on one of the most beautiful thing in life if i continue to be like that…so i tried to put down my defenses…and yes, i did find out how even more beautiful life can get if you allow yourself to love…i did still try to be cautious, trying not to give so much, but how could i truly be happy when i limit myself on how i should love a person and how i should let that person love me…it’s been almost 91 months since i shied away from my practicality and allowed myself to love, and though it’s not easy, you’d feel a lot of hurt and sometimes you just would want to hit that person you’re with, and just shout out all your anger, but i don’t regret that day almost 91 months ago, when i finally allowed myself to feel the joy of love…and you all should too..

 i’m gald i took the leap, or i would not have been this happy now!

-angge-